Confession

I received a vision last night. I saw a dark spirit approach, and instinctively began praying for it to leave. Almost instantly there were twenty or thirty dark spirits swarming around me, and I realized instead of praying for the spirit to leave, I had actually prayed for the Lord to leave! I thought, wait, that's not right, I don't want the Lord to leave, the spirits need to leave. I then began praying for the Lord to send the spirits away. But my prayer was empty.  The spirits didn't feel threatening. They felt benign. And even though I knew they were evil, I did not want them to leave. And they multiplied.

Here's what happened:

1. The devil tempted me and I denied the Lord without a thought.

2. Immediately the door was open for more attacks from the devil.

3. The Lord exposed the evil for what it was.

4. I recognized the evil, and did what I was supposed to do, but out of obligation rather than a desire to please the Lord.

5. The attacks kept coming exponentially.

6. I let them come.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.
(Ephesians 6:12-13 ESV)

I praise you, Father, for showing me the light. I confess I am guilty of laying down your armor, and have continued in sin after you have exposed it to me. I confess to you my guilt of these specific sins: pride, idolatry, and lack of submission. I have taken steps to publicly confess these, that my brothers and sisters in Christ might hold me accountable. I ask that you continue to shed light on any other sins I must confess, and pray for your strength to have a true desire and willingness to repent. Thank you for your gracious gift of forgiveness of my unworthy soul, that I might dwell in your presence eternally. In your precious name, Amen.